Saturday, July 01, 2006

Cry God for Harry, England and Nando's

When the inevitable happens and Portugal knockout England later today, amidst the cries of being cheated yet again, dirty bloody foreigners and death threats to the referee, fuelled by our jingoistic tabloids, consider another possible victim from the fallout.Nando's.

This week, the Portuguese restaurant chain might have been wise to change the usual messages on their chalkboards outside their restaurants and maybe just play down their links to Portugal a little.

‘Eat Portuguese, live to 164’, while surely highly inaccurately might also induce cannibalistic retribution for defeat or have knuckle draggers thinking ‘Live to 164? We’ll see about that, sunshine’.

‘Peri-Peri, it’s Portuguese for flaming tasty’, should be changed to ‘Peri-Peri, it’s Portuguese for please don’t firebomb our restaurant, we’re really, really sorry’.

And I think it’s a little cruel for their staff to be forced to wear T-shirts with ‘Portugal’ written on the front. It’s just asking for trouble.

I fear turning up for work on Monday to discover the Nando's by our office vandalised.

Although, bearing in mind that this is Portsmouth, land of the lynch mobs that struggle to differentiate between paediatrician and paedophile, they’ll probably burn down the Santa Fé bar by mistake.

'Well it sounds foreign, innit.’

Or as I overheard yesterday,

‘What’s this Portugal crap? It’s in Spain, they speak Spanish and eat Spanish food. They’re nothing but bloody Spaniards in denial.’

And someone really should point out to Nando's the similarity between their logo and goatsce.

Don’t ask.